Supporting your partner
You have a role to play.
While your partner is experiencing symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, you may feel shut out, as they may feel uncomfortable discussing menopause with you. The perimenopause and menopause can be associated with many physical and emotional changes, and these can fluctuate, making it a challenging time. Supporting your partner during this time can help you, your relationship, your family, your friends, and society as a whole.
Educating yourself
Learning more is the first step. This will help you understand what your partner is experiencing. Check out the various symptoms of menopause and the impact they can have on your loved one. In addition, learn about treatment options and the support available.
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Talk, talk, talk
Communication is key, and keeping the channels open means you are ready to talk to and comfort your partner. Not all women experience the same symptoms, so try not to make assumptions. Ask about how they are feeling or if there is anything you can do to help. Even if the answer is no, at least you have shown you care and made your partner feel supported. Be ready to talk and comfort them when needed.
Encouragement and empathy
Your partner may feel lethargic, tired, and lacking in confidence. Your words of encouragement and support can help them feel loved and uplifted.
Encourage your partner to engage with friends who are also going through menopause. This will help provide the opportunity to discuss how they are feeling and to know they are not alone.
Help with symptoms
The fitter and healthier your partner is, the easier the menopause transition is likely to be. Supporting your partner to adopt a healthy diet and take regular exercise (walks, swimming, yoga, Pilates) is important for how they feel physically and emotionally.
Work together to reduce alcohol and quit smoking to help reduce the symptoms of menopause.
If your partner has an appointment booked with their GP, you could offer to come with them for support.
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Sexual wellbeing and intimacy
The loss of ovarian hormones following menopause can lead to changes in a woman’s body and sexual drive. These hormonal changes can make their vagina dry, and they may find that arousal is less intense and their skin is less sensitive to touch. These changes during menopause can sometimes make sex uncomfortable or even painful. Loss of sleep and emotional changes due to night sweats can reduce the energy for sex.
There are treatment options to manage and ease some of these symptoms. Topical oestrogen can improve the quality of the vaginal tissue. Couples need to be careful with their choice of lubricants, as many dry out the vagina and contain preservatives or additives that can lead to dermatitis.
Encourage your partner to see a GP or gynaecologist when these concerns arise to prevent decreased sexual function from becoming sexual dysfunction. If your partner is perimenopausal, it is also worthwhile considering contraception if needed, as there is a possibility of pregnancy.
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The good news is that in most cases, when women have a diagnosis followed by treatment, their symptoms improve, and so will your relationship!